I have realized recently that I am very different from most Christians.
I love to sing and worship God with songs. I will have my radio on WAY-FM all day or all week and I could just sing all day. The words in songs just speak to me. God speaks to me so clearly in songs and I LOVE IT!!!
I have never been one to be able to memorize stuff. Even in school I struggles to remember things or words for tests. So when it comes to scripture, it doesn't stick in my head. Surprise surprise! But, if you were to sing the verse to me, I will remember it! Isn't that strange?
Anyway, so I have started going to Christian concerts all throughout the year and God speaks to me always in the songs. He always knows what I need to hear and He always knows how to fill my heart! When I am at these concerts, of course I have fun, but I can worship and sing as loud as I can and nobody can hear my noise! hehe When I leave not being able to talk, I know that it was an AMAZING concert and that God moved me in ways I can't explain.
Last night I went to the Rock and Worship Roadshow and experienced some new musical groups and I was sooo extremely giddy with how I didn't care about how I looked when I was singing and dancing. I was able to be me and feel the music praise God all at the same time. Who could ask for anything better? I can't wait for next year and feel that again!
Thank you Jesus!!!
Monday, February 28, 2011
New Journey
So this past weekend, our family started a new journey! It's scary yet exciting at the same time. We are looking for a new church home. After many months or even years we have finally decided it is time for us to move on.
So many fears come with this new journey. It's going to be like changing schools again like I was younger and you have to start all over meeting new friends. You have to learn to gain trust in people who will be watching your kids. You have to, most of all, trust in God completely to lead you to where he wants you.
I go online and search for different church websites to get information on them and I just don't know what I'm looking for. I know I want at church that is apart of the community and I want a church that has a future for my kids. This is like buying a new house. You have your things that you def want and all the other things can change.
How long is this gonna take? Are we gonna be wandering for years like they did in Egypt? hehe that was just a joke by the way. Anyway, seriously, how long do you keep searching? How do you know when you find the right place? Will I feel it in my heart right away or do I need to go to each church a few times to know? ugh, sooo many questions.
Well wish us luck on this new journey. I know it will grow us and teach us things and will most likely be exciting!
So many fears come with this new journey. It's going to be like changing schools again like I was younger and you have to start all over meeting new friends. You have to learn to gain trust in people who will be watching your kids. You have to, most of all, trust in God completely to lead you to where he wants you.
I go online and search for different church websites to get information on them and I just don't know what I'm looking for. I know I want at church that is apart of the community and I want a church that has a future for my kids. This is like buying a new house. You have your things that you def want and all the other things can change.
How long is this gonna take? Are we gonna be wandering for years like they did in Egypt? hehe that was just a joke by the way. Anyway, seriously, how long do you keep searching? How do you know when you find the right place? Will I feel it in my heart right away or do I need to go to each church a few times to know? ugh, sooo many questions.
Well wish us luck on this new journey. I know it will grow us and teach us things and will most likely be exciting!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Black hole.......No light in sight!
Right now I feel like I am in a black hole and there is no light in sight. I feel like I am falling and there is nothing to grab and I don't even know which direction is up or down.
I feel lost!
Right now I have soo many people telling me, your sinning, your sinning, your sinning! You aren't listening to God, You aren't following God, You need to trust God, You need to forgive, You need to stop controlling, You need to listen to God!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP!!!
How does anybody know any of this? How do you know I'm sinning? How do you know I'm not listening to God? How do you know I'm not following God? How do you know I'm not trusting God? How do you know I need to forgive or even ask for forgiveness? How do you know I need to stop controlling? How does anybody besides God know any of this?
Right now I feel like we don't have a church home or a church family. So far, nobody has noticed that we don't come to church anymore. The people who we thought cared about us dont' talk to us anymore. The leadership I was apart of in the past, don't talk to me.
I know God tells us that humans will always let you down. I KNOW this is true as I have experienced it soo much. Nobody know what I have gone through in the past 8 months. Nobody knows what I have experienced in the past 8 months. You can't tell me what to do when you haven't been in my shoes! UGH!!
So right now, I will keep falling and keep talking to God. I have talked to him about where I'm at and that I don't know how to decipher His words and Satan's words. I don't know where to go. I can't do this, I can't handle all this. I can't keep going through this. I am falling and I need him to catch me.
I will keep talking to God and giving him my struggles. I know he will guide me and I know he loves me.
So as I am falling, please pray.
I feel lost!
Right now I have soo many people telling me, your sinning, your sinning, your sinning! You aren't listening to God, You aren't following God, You need to trust God, You need to forgive, You need to stop controlling, You need to listen to God!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP!!!
How does anybody know any of this? How do you know I'm sinning? How do you know I'm not listening to God? How do you know I'm not following God? How do you know I'm not trusting God? How do you know I need to forgive or even ask for forgiveness? How do you know I need to stop controlling? How does anybody besides God know any of this?
Right now I feel like we don't have a church home or a church family. So far, nobody has noticed that we don't come to church anymore. The people who we thought cared about us dont' talk to us anymore. The leadership I was apart of in the past, don't talk to me.
I know God tells us that humans will always let you down. I KNOW this is true as I have experienced it soo much. Nobody know what I have gone through in the past 8 months. Nobody knows what I have experienced in the past 8 months. You can't tell me what to do when you haven't been in my shoes! UGH!!
So right now, I will keep falling and keep talking to God. I have talked to him about where I'm at and that I don't know how to decipher His words and Satan's words. I don't know where to go. I can't do this, I can't handle all this. I can't keep going through this. I am falling and I need him to catch me.
I will keep talking to God and giving him my struggles. I know he will guide me and I know he loves me.
So as I am falling, please pray.
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