Fulfilled

Recently in Life Group we were asked if we felt fulfilled.  Do we feel fulfilled in our life as a whole, in our church, in our family, and in our marriage.  The funny thing is that I feel fulfilled in all areas except at church. 

This got me thinking!

I have never asked myself if I was fulfilled at church.  Some people may say that you shouldn't go to church to be fulfilled but I look at it a bit different.  I go there to worship God and while there I should be fulfilled and energized to take on the world for God.  I do go there to worship but I don't get anything from being there except falling asleep and thinking about the family time we miss out on because we are sitting at church.  The only time I look forward to going to church is when we are helping in the Kingdom Kids area.

I know this all sounds horrible but when I volunteer at the food bank, I am totally and completely fulfilled!  I don't feel judged, I don't feel used, I am a volunteer just like most of the people there.  The people that go there for food for the most part are very appreciative.  I work hard and I feel like I accomplished something even though you will never see that I did anything.  The people there need volunteers and every Thursday they say hello, they know my name and they thank me for coming in.  This is how I get fulfilled! 

When I go to church I dont' feel this at all!  I feel judged, I feel that if you don't take part in something then you aren't apart of the IN crowd.  If you question something they look down upon you  and they only appreciate me when I'm doing something because that is just one more thing they dont' have to do.

What a sad day when you feel more fulfilled out in the real world than you do in your own church!

I feel the best when I am out serving and doing something to show God's love to people.  Working in Kingdom Kids and the Food Bank are places that I love and long to be!

Is the Grass Greener?

So right now Darren and I are faced with a once in a life time opportunity.  The question we have right now is, Do we risk everything and go for it? or Do we play it safe?

We dont' know all the information and so from that point of few it is a def no.  You can't jump into something not knowing everything.  We have googled all that we can and not sure where to go from here.  We can talk to the person but then do we really know if they are telling us the truth? 

I dont' want our intentions to be about money because that is a huge part of this decision.  I feel like God is def our only way in making a decision.  Then comes more questions, how long do we wait?  I'm not one with a lot of patience so I like to think that if I just sit and wait, how can God do anything if I'm sitting here?  But I do also know that God is bigger than anything I could imagine and he doesn't need me to accomplish what he wants done. 

I totally and completely trust God but then my next concern is Darren.  How do I keep him from jumping into something like this?  I need to be obedient and submissive.  That is soo hard in this situation!

I feel like all I can do right now is pray hard and hope that God will give Darren a clear direction.  Pray that he will give us the wisdom to make the right choice based on what will glorify God and not what will better us. 

Please keep us in prayer.