Right now I feel like I am in a black hole and there is no light in sight. I feel like I am falling and there is nothing to grab and I don't even know which direction is up or down.
I feel lost!
Right now I have soo many people telling me, your sinning, your sinning, your sinning! You aren't listening to God, You aren't following God, You need to trust God, You need to forgive, You need to stop controlling, You need to listen to God!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP!!!
How does anybody know any of this? How do you know I'm sinning? How do you know I'm not listening to God? How do you know I'm not following God? How do you know I'm not trusting God? How do you know I need to forgive or even ask for forgiveness? How do you know I need to stop controlling? How does anybody besides God know any of this?
Right now I feel like we don't have a church home or a church family. So far, nobody has noticed that we don't come to church anymore. The people who we thought cared about us dont' talk to us anymore. The leadership I was apart of in the past, don't talk to me.
I know God tells us that humans will always let you down. I KNOW this is true as I have experienced it soo much. Nobody know what I have gone through in the past 8 months. Nobody knows what I have experienced in the past 8 months. You can't tell me what to do when you haven't been in my shoes! UGH!!
So right now, I will keep falling and keep talking to God. I have talked to him about where I'm at and that I don't know how to decipher His words and Satan's words. I don't know where to go. I can't do this, I can't handle all this. I can't keep going through this. I am falling and I need him to catch me.
I will keep talking to God and giving him my struggles. I know he will guide me and I know he loves me.
So as I am falling, please pray.
SO. Where do I start. First off.. whether you sin or not is between you and God. It does not involve other people unless you are causing them to 'sin' as well. Personally I feel these people that are telling you that you are sinning to cover up something of their own, but they need to mind their own business. I hate to know that people are telling you this. It is not fair and not true and a church family and brothers/sisters in Christ are to build you up and help you, not tear you down to your lowest.
ReplyDeleteThat is where I see you at right now is your lowest. But whatever is going on, stay faithful to God. Continue to draw close to Him. Know He is there with you. Know He is with you every step of the way. He shares your doubts. He shares your pain. And He shares your fear. Continue to pray. Give everything to God and know He will see you through this. God is all that matters. He is there when everyone else fails. And I'm pretty sure I have said this before, but I really think you need a new church. One that you can rely and not run from.
And remember you do have some people standing with you in prayer. We are here for support whenever you need us!
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